August 2009
2 posts
billi says: so do you think jack white and alison mosshart are you know...
billi says: doing it?
ben says: im sure of it
billi says: did they say something??
ben says: jack texted me earlier
billi says: alsion keeps dodging the question so i left her in the living room while i came here to ask you
billi says: i figured he'd tell you something
billi says: he ALWAYS confides in you
ben says: yeah, im confirming BUT you didnt hear it from me
billi says: totally...
billi says: the camping trip this weekend is going to be soooo awkward
billi says: i just um...
billi says: you know...
billi says: alison is here
ben says: :O
ben says: this is my dream job!
billi says: writing scripts and stuff?
ben says: writing scripts and stuff for YOU
billi says: oh! wow!
billi says: i wish i could pay you but...
ben says: *puts hand on your mouth... shhh
billi says: all i have to offer is mean jokes and unwavering love
ben says: yes yes AND YES!!!!
billi says: perfect! you're hired.
ben says: OMG!!!!!!
ben says: really?!?!?!
ben says: i dont know what to say
ben says: let me show you how i feel
billi says: ok
ben says: *sexy music plays
billi says: oooook! *sits back
ben says: *other employee walks in on us
billi says: :O
billi says: *abruptly says aloud
billi says: "so yeah take a look at next week's scripts and get back to me with the revisions ok?"
ben says: *rushes out holding together his open shirt
June 2009
7 posts
ben says: sorry, i was stuffing my face
ben says: hi!
billi says: ooo what did you have
billi says: ...under your ketchup
billi says: ;)
ben says: HAHA!
ben says: i did have ketchup
ben says: ...with my egg sandwich
billi says: oh yum!
billi says: un sangwee de wewoo!
ben says: si!!!
ben says: billi, am i your bitch?
billi says: yup
ben says: i miss you too.
billi says: we should hug this out
billi says: (hug)
ben says: (hug)
billi says: i'm having pringles
ben says: im having a baby
billi says: mexican layered dip flavor
billi says: whats your baby taste like?
ben says: nachos
billi says: what day do you think i should upload it and at what time?
billi says: or should it be more than once a week?
ben says: once a week on tuesdays
billi says: tuesdays really?
billi says: nothing good on tv huh?
billi says: people will be at their computers most likely?
billi says: omg i have to think about all of thqt!!
billi says: omg i'm freaking out now!
ben says: music comes out tuesdays, also i feel like mondays people are coming off the weekend and the middle of the week is blah and weekends no one watches videos
ben says: thats how im seeing it
ben says: may be totally off
billi says: i think you're right
billi says: cool
billi says: i just gave you 1 percent of the company
ben says: FUCK YEAH!!!!
billi says: you're now a shareholder
billi says: let's have a meeting
ben says: let's have captain planet rings!!!
billi says: woah, you're going way too fast...
billi says: i'm getting to that.
ben says: i'll take my place -_-
billi says: ok fine we'll hand out the rings first.
ben says: omgsh omgsh omgsh which one do i get?!
billi says: you pick first
billi says: which one do you want
ben says: omgsh im torn
ben says: i dont want heart or earth
ben says: i want water or wind. you choose sir.
billi says: i'll go with fire
billi says: yay destruction!
ben says: choose mine!!
ben says: OMG I WANT WATER
ben says: to put you out ]:)
billi says: i'll...
billi says: i'lll
billi says: lava... that'll stop water.
billi says: contain it eventually
billi says: ha!
ben says: :O!!!!!!!
ben says: DONT EVAPORATE ME!!!
ben says: how dare you
ben says: i feel violated -_-
billi says: you said you'd kill me first!
ben says: no i didn't but now i will!
ben says: *water!!!!
ben says: *you are squirted with water
billi says: i'm merely defending mysle... oooow!!!
billi says: *fire at ground creating lava!!
ben says: *evaporates
billi says: *super fire ball of power all anime style frozen in mid air with a trippy moving background!!!!!!!
billi says: BAMMMMMM!!!!!!!
billi says: i killed you
billi says: best board meeting ever.
ben says: hey you use twitter on your phone, is that part of your internet plan?
ben says: or part of your text plan?
billi says: it's texting
billi says: you send a text to twitter
ben says: does that cost money?
billi says: but "iphees" and "beebees" connect through the web so that woud be a data plan
billi says: i only pay what my plan is
billi says: twitter does not charge
ben says: gotcha
billi says: p.s. that's what we're calling iphones and blackberries from now on
ben says: i love billiSPEAK!
ben says: you will start a revolution
billi says: omg yes a glorious revolution the will usurp any current ones in the making. a revolution where we won't need any form of currency beyond love, friendship, happiness and sex.
billi says: ...and i will exterminate those that stand in my way.
billi says: starting with russell brand.
ben says: :O !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE PLOT!!!!!! THE FUCKING PLOT THICKENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
billi says: well i'd have to kill him because i'm stealing his idea.
billi says: except mine won't be a utopia where we're all care free...
billi says: everyone will have to wear color coded jumpsuits...
billi says: and yes...
billi says: we all get captain planet rings.
ben says: OMFG!!!!
ben says: and every one of them will be different
billi says: DON'T ARGUE BEN!!! I CAN MAKE UP MORE ELEMENTS!!!
billi says: do you want to be on my board of dictators or not??
billi says: i mean directors
ben says: some people get like the power to turn trash into fishes :O
billi says: i'll give them all strange ones
billi says: ridiculous things
billi says: like turning water into ice in longer time than it takes to atually freeze it
ben says: some people will be able to make paper hats
billi says: omg i sooo want the paper hat ring!
ben says: i wish i knew how to make proper iced coffee
ben says: learn it to me when i visits new york!
billi says: ok i must step in now as billi barista...
billi says: oh
billi says: i could tell you now but if that's the deal then i'll keep it to myself till you get here
billi says: hahaha
billi says: no but really... there's no science to it
ben says: did you just call me ugly?
billi says: no!
billi says: why would i do that?
ben says: why dont you marry it?!
billi says: coffee kicking in?
ben says: yeah
billi says: ben!!
billi says: hi
ben says: hey bill, whats up
billi says: nothing much. how was your day?
ben says: uneventful, fed the cats!
ben says: yours?
billi says: got caught in the rain and decided i wanted to be more "rock and roll"
May 2009
3 posts
billi says: hello benben!
ben says: hello pal!
billi says: what's going on?
ben says: not much, u?
billi says: i meant with like the world in general.
billi says: you think any other animals will attack us with their flu?
ben says: yes, seahorses will give us horse flu and we'll kill all the regular horses instead.
ben says: the seahorse will reign supreme.
billi says: because think about it...
billi says: their flu strain will have those tails that could wrap around our blood cells.
billi says: pwned!
ben says: :|
ben says: this will be like the happening, but scary!
billi says: is that an M. Night ShaniaTwain reference?
ben says: bingo!
billi says: i'm hanging up
billi says: is this bitch even real??
billi says: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUf4YYZyAQM
billi says: hahaha
billi says: tila rolled
billi says: what do you think her boobs think about all day?
ben says: they miss the old days.
billi says: *laugh attsck
ben says: lol
billi says: you always know exactly what to say
ben says: seriously. i havent combed my hair in forever
ben says: i havent had a haircut since like december/january!!!
ben says: ahhhhhhhhhh
ben says: *cant breathe
billi says: is it over your face already!!
billi says: omg it's mutating!!!
ben says: it can read what you're typing
ben says: i wish i had a hair stylist
ben says: just following me around giving me touch ups
ben says: so grow your hair out a bit?
ben says: CMOOOOOOON
billi says: i will
billi says: i'm not touching it for a while now
billi says: until it get really out of control and learns to read
ben says: and take db pics of you needing a lawnmower
billi says: hahaha
billi says: it's gonna be amazing!
billi says: then we'll do a collab at like a homw depo shopping for lawnmowers
billi says: it's gonna be amazing
ben says: do-it-yourself hairmowing
ben says: we'll lay on the grass and let the mower run our hair over and whatever it looks like is the style we'll work with
billi says: even if it cuts into our cranium!!
billi says: yay!!!
ben says: especially! i've always wanted to be a red head
billi says: hahaha!!!!!!!!!
billi says: we're gonna be THE trend setters!
billi says: people will walk passed up and we'll say thing like...
billi says: "pfft, look at those two, HA!, they have eyebrows and foreheads... that's soooo last season!"
ben says: "you mean they still have natural scalps!? *ha!"
billi says: omg this could change the whole world!!
billi says: salons would get replaced by boutique landscaping companies.
ben says: i'd finally have contributed something to the world i'd be proud of ;(
billi says: omg you think our manga character morph thingies were an omen of all this greatness???
billi says: i mean...
billi says: we thought it was fringes but look at it now!!
billi says: those look like lawnmower blade marks if i ever saw one.
ben says: OMG
ben says: *suddenly feels like he's in a final destination movie
billi says: our hair would survive a plane crash.
ben says: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsTqqS2ybyo
billi says: that's pretty much what a day at the salon would be like except we'd have like pina colladas and we'd be getting manny's at the same time.
billi says: atleast in the boutique landscaper company i'm gonna open
ben says: ill open one across the street and we can have wild and crazy customer stealing antics
billi says: free raspados on my end yo! top that!
ben says: tamales y champurado in the winter!!!
ben says: *sends ugly people to your salon
billi says: *makes them beautifuller
ben says: damn it, i never thought of that!!!
March 2009
4 posts
billi says: so did you find some?
billi says: i had to stop looking or else i woud start to blow cash
ben says: the internet can be a funny thing.
ben says: next thing i knew i was looking at pictures of gerard butler.
ben says: wtf.
billi says: hahaha
billi says: omg
billi says: that happens
billi says: it's the whirlpool of life
billi says: whirlpool? is that what that's called?
billi says: those thingis in the ocean where pirates go around and fight at eachother?
ben says: oh wow, i was totally picturing the whirlpool appliances.
ben says: i was like, the washing machine of life?
billi says: hahaha
ben says: yours makes more sense.
billi says: what is that thing called?? the water huricane suck you in thing?
ben says: that is in fact a whirpool.
ben says: with an L.
billi says: as in "let's light an L dawg!!?" no? oh ok.
ben says: i'm going back to the washing machine just for that.
billi says: great! now we're both confused.
ben says: i don't think we ever really knew what was going on to begin with.
billi says: good point.
ben says: let's start over.
ben says: must. sleep.
ben says: lost. hour.
ben says: wait
ben says: thats tomorrow!
ben says: isnt it :|
ben says: what the fuck im so confused
billi says: nope the hour was already taken from us
billi says: we're good just go by this time
ben says: oh snap
billi says: your computer doesn't lie
ben says: yeah im going to bed tho
billi says: good night!
ben says: damn kick me out!
billi says: YOU'RE THE ONE SAYING YOU GOTTA GO!!!
billi says: sheeeeeeet
ben says: i hope that's the last thing i ever see from you, when i dont wake up tmrw :O
ben says: my mom tells me i shouldnt make jokes like that.
ben says: only i think theyre funny.
billi says: you're not commiting suicide ben.
billi says: i'm putting out a video tomorrow.
billi says: you have to watch it!
billi says: monday.
billi says: not tomorrow
billi says: if at all
ben says: ugh, fine. ill do it next month.
billi says: nice!
billi says: i win
ben says: every. time.
billi says: omg we're all going to leave blogger!!! STOP IT!!!
billi says: hahaha
ben says: LMAO
ben says: how long did blogger last?
ben says: i mean no NO
ben says: we're not leaving!!
billi says: hahahaa
billi says: i JUST got my blogger looking just how i want it... now all these other possibilities!!!
billi says: i blame myself for ever showing you this thing!!!!!
billi says: *runs away crying
ben says: *makes 100 tumblrs
billi says: cause you know they could all be under one account
billi says: i have 9
billi says: SHHHHHHHH!!!!
billi says: i didn't say that!!!
ben says: @___________________________@
billi says: hahahahahaha
ben says: really?
billi says: no
billi says: well
billi says: no
ben says: you DO!
billi says: hahaha
billi says: NO!!
ben says: this is the internet
ben says: nothing is secret for long
billi says: hahahahaha
ben says: *waits for nudes to eventually come out
billi says: the SEX TAPE!!!!!
ben says: no! if there's one thing i wouldnt upload to the internet is my sex tape
ben says: i mean no sex tape exists
billi says: hahaha
billi says: there is one!!!!
ben says: that white hi-8 tape underneath everything in my drawer is NOT my sex tape
billi says: which drawer DON'T i look in?
ben says: the one right next to my computer
billi says: there is one!!!!!
ben says: deep inside to the right
ben says: NO!!!!
billi says: yes!!!
ben says: but you probably do!!!
billi says: www.billilovessextape.com
ben says: why do i click?
ben says: every. time.
billi says: THIS FUCKING ELF IS TELLING ME HOW TO DO WHAT I NEED TO DO TO MAKE THIS FRIGGIN VIDEO!!!!!
ben says: that is good?! isnt it?!
ben says: unless you meant isnt
ben says: then that is bad.
billi says: oh i meant isn't
ben says: then that is bad.
billi says: i'm going to find him and stretch him out on one of those old torture things while screaming...
billi says: "I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO BE TALL?!?!?"
ben says: you might actually be doing him a 'giant' favor, yeah.
billi says: ooof good use of language there ben!
ben says: i iz educated by lolcatz.
ben says: Billi, i need to poop.
billi says: you may go.
ben says: FINALLY.